Freaking out

So I’ve left the UK. I gave up my flat, packed up all my stuff to be shipped back to New Zealand and sorted what I needed for the next three months into a backpack.

However, I never booked a ticket back to New Zealand, only as far as Europe.
The other night we began really looking at flights (only to Asia but one step closer to New Zealand, and more importantly out of Europe) Ad was about to book it and then

I freaked out

By this I mean I declared I no longer wanted to go back to New Zealand. I wanted to keep travelling and not go back to settle down, because let’s face it that’s what’s going to be happening, considering earlier that day we’d actually googled the property market where we wanted to live. I was fine with it then but now…
It took me awhile to calm down and a lot of patience on Ads part.

I think looking back now on my freak out there are several reasons why
1. In the UK if things didn’t work out the way I wanted then I would reason that I could go back to NZ and it would be better, but now I’m going back, I’ve got nowhere to fall back on and what if it’s not what I expected?
2. What if everything has changed? Or what if nothing changed?

There are a few more reasons but I think rather then focusing on the negatives, I need to think about the positives, including
1. Getting to see my family and getting to know nephews and nieces born while I’ve been away,
2. Getting to plan a wedding, and buying a house (eventually)
3. Realising how much more I need to explore New Zealand and doing it
4. Exploring and getting to know a new blogging community in New Zealand.

So I think as much as I don’t believe I’m ready, I need to do this, I need. To book that ticket (to at least halfway home) in fact I might go do it now…
So tips for visiting Bangkok? Or what’s you opinion on Cambodia vs. Vietnam? We’ll have about 2weeks in one of them, or is there somewhere else we should see?


14 thoughts on “Freaking out

  1. Amanda @ MoveLoveEat says:

    I have been freaking out a bit lately about the thought of mortgages and the likes for the reason that it means funds will be limited and therefore not as much travel (and I don’t do as much as I’d like at the moment!). But we’ve been exploring NZ a lot lately and making the most of the spots around Auckland before we high tail it out of here to settle down elsewhere in NZ (read somewhere cheaper). It will all work out in the end, and if it doesn’t you can always pack up and leave again 😉

    P.s the blogging community here is really picking up and everyone is amazing!

    And Cambodia vs Vietnam – I did 3 days in Cambodia (Siem Reap only and LOVED it!), have done 2 days in Vietnam then a separate three week trip and loved it but I would prob recommend Cambodia first as it just felt so untouched and the people felt that much more genuine which is harder to find in some of the Asian countries where it feels as though you are seen as a walking dollar sign sometimes.

  2. Kerri says:

    Every now and then I freak out about being to old to travel, especially waiting for my bf to finish his studies. I think one day at a time, and having the support of your partner will make the move easier. Even if you settle down its still an adventure and I’m sure you’ll make the most of it.

  3. Sophie says:

    I have no tips to offer for your next trip as I sadly haven’t been to Asia at all – but I desperately want to. I can only imagine that it’s a really scary thing to go back home … It sort of implies ‘settling’. But hey, with a Swiss passport you aren’t bound to any place 🙂
    Also, I’m not going back to Canada for a few more years but I am sort of settling here and getting freaks out sort of for the opposite reason. So at least it’s comforting to know that lots of people out there are freaking out along with us!

    • jennafrey says:

      Thats what I figure ( or at least what Ad keeps trying to tell me) It is a weird feeling because sometimes i love the idea of going home to settle but other times it freak me out .
      Thats what i found from this post, is I’m really not alone in my feelings

  4. Jade says:

    I’m still freaking out and I’ve been home for almost two months. It does seem a bit surreal at first that you’re “back home” but with each day that passes, it gets more normal, if you get what I mean. Enjoy the rest of your travel adventures! xx

  5. frockandroll says:

    Unfortunately I don’t have any advice to offer on those locations since I’ve never been to any of them, but I’d *love* to, and I can’t wait to hear about your experiences in them!

    I can totally understand your freak out. A couple of years ago, I got my British passport and was planning on making the big move over to London (from Australia)… and then I met daughter’s father, decided to only make it a 3 month trip, and ended up settling in New Zealand, instead! We’ve now split up and I have those “oh my god, OH MY GOD” moments too, but then again, if I hadn’t of come to New Zealand… I wouldn’t have my daughter! (And as corny as it is, she triumphs over any holidays that I’ve had, honestly.) I now live in Auckland and even though it’s never, ever somewhere that I saw myself living, I love it! 🙂

    I’ve come to learn that you can make a good life anywhere 🙂 So even though it’s totally, 110% natural to fret… don’t! Get excited 😀 You’ll come to cherish your time here just as much as the memories that you’ve made there, and it’s always lovely to be closer to family 🙂

    • jennafrey says:

      See, thats one of the reasons I want to go home, so i can ahve a feeling like that ( maybe not for a few years tho) but i am really excoted to finally meet the new nephew and see the others

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